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- Go Diva
- Copyright SusanSub 2007
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- Since I wrote about using my cat as
a bondage master (see my account Bondage
Master Dragon), I have had a number of self-bondage sessions.
Most were routine, but one I just had, and from which I am still
recovering, might be of wider interest.
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- This account started out as a diary,
and in rewriting it for this forum I have left in some things
that are not directly related to the bondage. I hope you will
forgive me. To compensate for this extraneous stuff, I have tried
to make the account more interesting by recreating the conversations
from memory rather than simply stating the meaning of what was
said.
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- I am a very private person and have
yet to come out of the bondage closet and would die of shame
if my friends or coworkers found out, but I feel the need to
tell someone about it, if only to warn them not to do the dangerous
thing I did. To protect my identity and that of my friend, I
have changed some names and minor details.
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- Thinking about what I did in a saner
frame of mind, I now realize that I was incredibly stupid and
could have been seriously hurt. So please don’t attempt
to replicate my adventure.
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- Because my drawings were so well received
last time, I have illustrated this account with a few sketches.
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- Warning! This story might contain
activities that might not be suitable in selfbondage. Please
play safe.
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- Go Diva
- Copyright SusanSub 2007
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- Just as I was about to buckle my gag the
phone rang. I quickly removed the gag and began to struggle across
the room towards the phone, anxious to reach it before it stopped
ringing. Progress was slow since only my arms were free.
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- Success! I stretched up and managed to
pick it up on the last ring.
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- “Hi,” I said in my friendliest
and most seductive voice. I was expecting the caller to be my
boyfriend, Jessie, and I wanted to conceal from him what I was
doing.
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- “Hi Sue, how are you doing?”
It was Tammy, one of my friends from University.
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- “Hi Tammy. I’m fine, how about
you?”
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- “I’m OK, a bit lonely. Seth’s
away.”
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- “I’m sorry to hear that. Where
is he?”
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- “He’s in Iraq, going to be there
for a couple of months.”
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- “Oh, I’m so sorry. You must
be worried.”
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- “Well I am a bit, but he assures
me it’s safe where he’s at. Are you busy these days?
What are you doing?”
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- “Nothing much.” There was not
much I could do, chained up as I was.
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- “The reason I’m calling is to
invite you to come and visit. It’s lovely this time of year.
You could come and stay for a few days. You could stay a month
if you like.”
-
- The invitation sounded attractive. My
relationship with my boyfriend was not developing as well as
I had hoped, and I also felt I needed a rest from work. I had
been putting in a lot of hours and needed a vacation. It might
be good to get away from both my job and my boyfriend. I felt
I needed to charge my batteries and assess where I wanted to
go in life.
-
- “That’s kind of you, I’m
tempted. OK, I’ll come,” I said on an impulse. “When
do you want me?”
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- “Come anytime. We’ve a big place
here and the spare bedroom is already made up.”
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- “How about next Saturday? My boss
owes me, and I think he’ll let me take off next week.”
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- “That would be lovely.”
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- “What do you want me to bring?”
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- “Just yourself, I’ve got everything
here.”
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- We chatted for a few minutes catching
up on what had happened to us and then I said, “I’ve
got a cat. Could I bring him?”
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- “Sure, we’ve got a couple of
cats here. I’m sure he’ll fit right in.”
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- We chatted some more then said our goodbyes.
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- I struggled back across the room to where
the keys would drop from the ice timer. Once my hands were handcuffed
it would be difficult to move at all. I wondered why I had left
my gag until last instead of inserting it earlier as I usually
did. Did I have a premonition that someone would call? Yes I
did, but I had felt it would my boyfriend. To hell with him.
I picked up my gag, pressed its fat rubbery penis into my mouth
and buckled its strap.
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- I reached behind me and locked my left
wrist in a handcuff attached to a short chain connected to my
butt plug and its retaining crotch chain. I placed my right wrist
in the other cuff and paused. Did I still want to go through
with the session? You bet! I clicked the cuff closed with my
left hand to complete my bondage. Now I had a good two hours
of wonderful tight bondage to enjoy before the ice timer released
the keys. I would be bent and almost completely immobilized by
my chains with nothing to do except futilely struggle to get
free, try to stimulate myself to a climax, fantasize and think
about Tammy’s invitation.
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- Bent and almost completely
immobilized
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- * * *
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- The following Saturday I drove out to
Tammy’s farm. On the back seat of my car lay a large suitcase
filled with the official things I needed for my visit: clothes,
toiletries, makeup and so forth. In the trunk of my car was a
smaller but heavier suitcase filled with my bondage equipment.
I didn’t know if I’d get an opportunity to use much
of it, but as the girl scouts’ motto says, it’s always
best to be prepared. At least I should be able to sleep at night
in the reassuring comfort of chains.
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- I was not bringing my cat. Although his
name is Dragon he is somewhat timid and I didn’t think he
would enjoy the presumably fiercer and hardier farm cats. I had
arranged for a friend to look after him while I was gone.
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- Tammy was waiting for me as I drove into
the farmyard. We hugged each other and kissed. It seemed like
the old days, except that she was now married. I felt a little
of the old feeling for her. I had suspected her of being a closet
lesbian, and was very surprised when I received a wedding invitation
from her. Her husband Seth was handsome, personable and wealthy.
She had done well.
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- It was early afternoon and after showing
me to my room, she gave me a tour of the house and outbuildings.
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- “This place used to be a kind of
riding academy,” she said leading the way into an enormous
barn. “They kept twenty or so horses here and people would
rent them to ride the trails. Before that it was a working farm,
and that’s when they built these barns. The academy converted
them into stables. This has space for twelve horses, but it hasn’t
been used in years.”
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- I looked around the cavernous interior.
It appeared to be the perfect place for a bondage adventure,
plenty of wooden posts to chain oneself to, and lots of space
overhead for suspension. Sunbeams slanted down to the floor from
small highly placed windows, illuminating the dust we had stirred
up and giving the beams sharp and distinct edges. It resembled
a scene from an old painting.
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- The perfect place for a bondage
adventure
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- “Let me show you the other one, that’s
where we keep our horses.”
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- We walked across the yard to the second
barn, a twin of the first. I took deep breaths of the country
air, it smelled so different from the city air, clean yet faintly
perfumed with the elusive odor of spring. The afternoon was warm,
and I could feel the earth coming to life after lying dormant
for so long.
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- Yes,” Tammy said, sensing my mood,
“Its beautiful here. You really feel connected to nature.
I love this place.”
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- We entered the barn and the clean fresh
smell of spring was replaced with a decided odor of horse manure.
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- “These are our two horses. This is
Summer, he’s a darling, a real gentle soul. You can ride
him tomorrow if you want. And this is Lightning, he’s Seth’s
horse. He’s a little more lively.”
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- Summer was a chestnut colored horse and
looked at me placidly. Lightning was black with a white mark
on his forehead and seemed a little nervous.
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- That night I slept in bondage. I smuggled
two pairs of handcuffs into my room and locked my ankles and
wrists together. I kept the key under my pillow so that in the
unlikely event I would be disturbed during the night I could
quickly release myself.
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- The following morning we saddled up the
horses and set out along one of the trails. It was a beautiful
grassy ride enclosed for the most part by trees, but with an
occasional distant view. The trees grew together over our heads
and at one point I had to duck to avoid a low branch.
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- A beautiful grassy ride
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- “Sorry about that,” Tammy said.
“It’s expensive to maintain these trails. We’ve
had to let most of them go back to nature. But we hire someone
to come in twice a year to maintain a couple of them, and Seth
does some work on weekends.
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- “Are you ready to trot?” she
continued. We had been walking the horses since we left the barn.
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- “Sure.”
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- Tammy tapped Lightning with her heels
and he immediately broke into a trot. I was about to do the same
to Summer but it wasn’t necessary for he began to trot as
soon as he saw Lightning do so.
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- The walking had been easy, but the trot
caused me to bounce up and down in the saddle. It was an English
style saddle so I had nothing to hold onto; I had to rely on
my balance and my legs. This was not the first time I had ridden,
but I was by no means a good rider. I tried posting to the trot
but was not very successful.
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- Tammy looked across and me and, seeing
that I did not appear to be panicking, asked, “Are you ready
to canter?”
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- “Sure,” I replied and kicked
Summer with my heels to tell him to go faster. I wanted to show
him who was boss.
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- It was wonderful. Summer’s canter
was much easier on my backside, a kind of pitching motion rather
than the harsh choppiness of his trot. It was exhilarating as
we sped along the trail. I felt I could almost be back in medieval
times, apart from my clothes there was no indication that it
was now the twenty first century.
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- Tammy slowed Lightning to a walk and I
pulled on the reins to follow suite.
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- “I try to take them out every day,”
Tammy said. “So I’m glad you’re here. Riding with
me really helps a lot.”
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- Back at the stables we removed the harness,
brushed the horses, cleaned their legs and feet, watered and
fed them.
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- * * *
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- We rode every day. It was a wonderful
time, the weather was warm and I forgot completely about work,
and even managed to stop thinking about my boyfriend. We went
shopping, and drove into town to see a movie.
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- On Wednesday, seeing that I was getting
better and more confident at riding, Tammy made the horses gallop
on the way back to the stables. This was the first time I had
been on a horse that galloped. It was both fantastically exhilarating
and frightening.
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- We did the same thing on Thursday. Summer
was in the lead when we started to gallop, but Tammy urged Lightning
on and they quickly caught up with us. They were overtaking us
when Summer must have been overcome with some sort of competitive
spirit. He accelerated and galloped much faster almost keeping
up with Lightning. As I was hanging on for dear life, I was amazed
at his speed, I had assumed that horses galloped at more or less
one speed and hadn’t realized they could do so at very different
speeds. Now I think about it, it seems obvious, just like human
runners.
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- On Friday Tammy asked me how long I was
planning to stay.
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- “I don’t know, I haven’t
decided. I can leave tomorrow if I’m in the way.”
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- “No, I’m sorry. That’s
not what I meant. I’d love you to stay longer. What I meant
to say is that my mother is sick and I want to go down and visit
her. If you were here you could look after the horses and cats
while I’m gone.”
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- “I’d be happy to do so. I’m
sorry about your mother, what’s wrong with her? Nothing
serious I hope.”
-
- “I hope not, but she didn’t
sound too good.”
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- “Yes, you should go and see her.
Don’t worry about the horses, I can look after them.”
I was thinking that with the ranch to myself I would have a wonderful
opportunity to practice some self-bondage, even try some outdoor
bondage, something I had never done.
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- “Sue, you seem eager to get rid of
me.”
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- “No, it’s just that I’m
trying to make you not feel guilty about leaving me here.”
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- “OK, but don’t get into any
mischief. Don’t ride Lightning, and don’t gallop Summer.
And take a cell phone if you ride him, you don’t want to
get stuck out on the trail with a broken leg.”
-
- “I’ll be careful, don’t
worry about me. Just go down there and look after your mother.”
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- That night I lay awake in bed planning
a bondage adventure. I was so excited by the prospect that I
hardly slept.
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- My plan was to ride a horse while nude.
As a girl I had been fascinated by the story of Lady Godiva riding
nude on horseback through the streets of Coventry. I was too
embarrassed, and too fearful of being arrested, to ride nude
in public and intended to ride only in the privacy of Tammy’s
ranch. To balance this timidity I planned a more dangerous ride;
I planned to ride in bondage.
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- The greatest danger facing me would be
falling off the horse. To make sure this didn’t happen,
I wanted to test out my idea first. The weather forecast was
for the weekend to be warm and sunny. Accordingly I decided to
carry out my test on Saturday and do the actual ride on Sunday.
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- Tammy left on Saturday morning. I waited
until mid afternoon before saddling up Summer for the test ride;
I reckoned this would be the warmest part of the day on Sunday
and wanted to match the conditions as closely as possible. But
not too closely. On Saturday I would be fully clothed, I wanted
to reserve the nudity until the actual ride so as not to spoil
the novelty.
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- I lengthened the reins so that I could
hold them in my teeth, and set out on the trail. As we entered
the woods I placed the reins in my mouth and my hands behind
my back as if they were handcuffed. I had judged the length of
the reins well and could sit upright. I felt that if I leaned
back I would be able to pull on the reins to slow or stop Summer.
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- I quickly got used to the position and
found I could balance quite well. I had no desire to go faster,
it might lead to a disaster if I were really in bondage. Summer
was used to varying his speed along the trail and I wanted to
make sure I could keep him at a walking pace the whole way round.
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- Although I felt quite safe, I had taken
Tammy’s advice and was carrying my cell phone in a pocket
of my jeans.
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- There were no real problems, Summer seemed
quite content to walk and I felt quite secure, even with my hands
behind me. Dismounting at the end was difficult and I ended up
using my hands, but I reckoned I would somehow manage to do it
when handcuffed, even if it meant sliding or falling off. I only
had to do it once and since no one would be watching it didn’t
matter if it was inelegant. Perhaps the main problem was holding
the reins in my mouth the whole time; the leather got soaked
in my saliva.
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- I talked to Tammy that evening. Her mother
had a bad cold or possibly influenza. She was in bed and Tammy
was nursing her. Tammy said she would stay a few days, and might
come back on Tuesday if her mothers’ condition improved.
I said that would be fine, I could stay the whole week if necessary.
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- During the night I thought about my ride.
The practice walk had been almost too easy. I wanted to make
things a little more exciting for myself. I considered various
things I might do, but most seemed too dangerous. I finally decided
to make a small attachment to the saddle.
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- On Sunday morning I cut up an old pair
of my jeans to make long strips of cloth. I covered the top of
the saddle with plastic, to protect the leather from my juices.
I cut a hole in the longest strip of cloth, poked a phallus through
it and wrapped it around the saddle. The phallus had a small
flange at the bottom so the cloth effectively held it in place
although it was a bit wobbly. I used more strips from my jeans
to stabilize it and sewed the ends together. When I had finished
I had a saddle partially covered in cloth with a realistic-looking
penis sticking up in the center.
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- A small attachment to the saddle
- * * *
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- It is now half past two on Sunday afternoon,
time to get going. I undress in my bedroom and lay my clothes
neatly on the bed. Picking up my shiny steel collar I close it
around my neck and padlock it at the back. Two silver chains
are connected to a ring at the front. I lift my breasts and clip
the ends of these chains to my nipple rings. I persuade myself
that this will help support my breasts.
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- I pick up my waist chain, wrap it around
my waist and padlock it at the back, threading the hasp through
the link of a pair of Darby style handcuffs. With my hands secured
in these handcuffs it should a little harder to balance than
it was yesterday, but yesterday was too easy.
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- These preparations make me excited, but
also apprehensive. I consider backing out, but realize that if
I don’t go through with it I will spend the rest of my life
regretting not doing it. I have analyzed the dangers and persuaded
myself that I would survive the worst, which would be falling
off the horse. If this happens there are three possibilities.
The first is that I will not be seriously hurt. I will stand
up and grab the reins with either my teeth or my hands and walk
back to the stables leading Summer. The second is that I will
be hurt and unable to walk. In this case I will use my cell phone
to call for help. I have entered Tammy’s phone number in
the fast dial numbers so I can easily call her even with my hands
handcuffed behind my back. I suppose that if I break both my
arms it might not be possible, but this seems highly improbable,
and even if I do it will mean that my legs will most likely be
uninjured so that I can walk back. The third possibility, and
one with the greatest potential danger, is that one of my feet
will get trapped in a stirrup as I fall. But since I will be
barefoot, I don’t think this is really possible; my feet
will easily slip out of the stirrups.
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- One minor problem is how to carry my cell
phone. I don’t have any pockets to put it in, and I can’t
attach it to the saddle since I will need it if I have a serious
fall. I decide to carry it in my hands since they won’t
be holding anything else.
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- I walk downstairs, pick up some plastic
wrap from the kitchen and open the front door a crack. I nervously
peer out. I am sure no one is around, but nevertheless I feel
apprehensive. Seeing that the farmyard is deserted, I open the
door and step out. The air is cool, but the sun feels warm on
my bare skin. I haven’t put any cream or protection on,
most of the time I will be under the trees so I shouldn’t
get sunburned, and it is early enough in the year that insects
should not be too bothersome.
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- I begin to walk across to the stables.
I feel so strange; I can’t remember ever being outside nude
like this before. I feel the bare dirt and grass under my feet,
the chains tugging on my nipples, and the handcuffs at my back,
reminders of what is to come. I can’t help looking around
to check that no one is spying on me. I reach the stable and
enter its dark interior. As my eyes adjust to the darkness I
make my way to Summer’s stall. He looks at me, and I wonder
what he is thinking. He has probably never seen a nude woman
before. I wonder if he thinks my collar and nipple chains are
some kind of harness.
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- As I put the harness and saddle on him,
I wonder what it would be like to be harnessed in this way: confined
by leather straps, an uncomfortable metal bit in my mouth, at
the mercy of someone else, having to obey their every command
instantly without thinking of the consequences, to carry them
or pull them in a carriage, to be afraid of the lash, and to
be wholly dependent on them for food and water. I feel I might
like to try it some day, but I would have to be very sure of
the person in control.
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- I wind the plastic wrap around the middle
of the reins, I don’t want it getting soggy like yesterday,
then lead Summer outside. I mount him. I feel so strange to be
sitting nude on a horse. The phallus is upright between my thighs
and nudges the front of my pussy. I am wet with excitement. Standing
in the stirrups I direct the phallus into my vagina and slowly
sink down on it. It is a large one since I don’t want it
slipping out of me too easily. It fills me and I wonder if I
should have chosen a smaller one. Experimentally I move my pelvis.
Wow, I feel so sexy! I fantasize that I am Lady Godiva. I am
nude as she was, but unlike her I am impaled, not that anyone
could tell even were they looking closely.
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- I click my tongue and tap Summer’s
flanks with my heels and he begins to walk. Oh god it feels so
sexy; the rocking motion of Summer’s walk makes it seem
like I am being fucked. I think I am going to have an orgasm
even before I reach the trees. I really want to be in bondage
for this orgasm so I quickly put the reins in my mouth, my teeth
clamping down on the plastic, and reach behind me to handcuff
my wrists. Click, pass the cell phone to the other hand, click,
it is done. I am trapped in a dangerous position, but I don’t
care; I am high with excitement.
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- Summer continues to walk and now I am
helpless to do anything about the penis that moves within me
at each step.
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- I come, oh god it is wonderful! I try
to respond to the penis now fucking me into an even higher state
and move my hips. I want to cry out, but know I have to keep
the reins in my mouth and merely make little moans. I am over
the edge, I am in ecstasy.
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- I am in ecstasy
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- Suddenly Summer’s motion changes;
he begins to trot. He has interpreted the motion of my pelvis
and the tensing of my legs as indicating that I want him to go
faster. Oh god, I am going to fall off! And the fucking has becomes
a lot more intense; the choppy gait is driving the phallus deep
into me at each step. What can I do? I am hardly in control of
myself.
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- I struggle to keep my balance but the
handcuffs locked to the back of my waist chain allow my arms
almost no motion. Somehow I manage to stay on and lean back.
The penis is jabbing into me; it is painful. But Summer slows
to a walk and I am saved. I grip him with my knees and lean forwards.
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- My orgasm slowly dies, and I try to keep
from spasming and flexing my legs. It is wonderful yet frightening.
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- I become aware that we have entered the
trees and the sun is no longer hot on my naked body. The phallus
is still twisting and sliding into me. I know I am going to have
another orgasm. Oh god, this is too much. I can’t take it.
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- Another orgasm hits me, a fierce wave
of uncontrollable passion spreads though me, but I must control
it, I must. I cannot drop the reins, I cannot flex my legs. Oh
god, please let me survive this.
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- I need to rest, I try pulling back on
the reins but Summer does not stop, he thinks I just am just
telling him to walk slower. I can’t pull all the way back,
I fear I will lose my balance. I can’t get the penis out
of me, I’m afraid that if I stand up in the stirrups I will
fall completely off the horse.
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- Here comes another orgasm, my third. I
hang on, trying neither to drop the reins nor excite Summer.
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- The orgasm passes. The penis is still
moving within me, but gradually I feel I can control it. I try
to enjoy the ride, to feel that I am accomplishing something,
handcuffed on horseback and being slowly and deliciously fucked
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- I concentrate on the sensations assaulting
my body, the motion of the horse, the tugging of the chains on
my nipples as my breasts bounce, the flashes of hot sun through
the branches, the steel gripping my wrists as I try to move my
arms to keep my balance, the gentle breeze, but it is all dominated
by the penis squirming and kneading my insides. The beautiful
scenery passes almost unnoticed.
-
- I feel I am slowly gaining control and
decide to stand up in the stirrups, but only a little way. I
dare not stand up all the way to let the penis out, I think I
might fall.
-
- The fucking sensation now that I am not
sitting on the saddle is different, it is gentler but the strokes
are longer. I try to enjoy it but it hurts my bare feet to stand
in the stirrups and I feel I might lose my balance, so I slowly
sink down onto the shaft.
-
- I get two more orgasms and am thinking
that I will be sore for weeks when a dog suddenly darts out from
the side of the trail and barks at us.
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- The dog is almost at Summer’s feet.
He rears up and I fall off backwards. It all happens so quickly
I don’t realize what’s happening. The back of my head
hits the ground then my shoulders and arms. I don’t lose
consciousness, but I am stunned. I hear Summer galloping away.
-
- As the sound of Summer’s hooves fades
I open my eyes and see the dog standing close to me. He has stopped
barking but is sniffing, perhaps he can smell my love juices.
Although the dog’s tail is not wagging, I don’t feel
afraid; he is a small dog, some kind of terrier.
-
- But suddenly I am afraid. Someone is calling
for the dog in the distance, a male voice, and whistling for
him. The sounds appear to be getting closer. I am terrified of
being discovered, not only do I feel embarrassed to be seen nude
and in bondage, but I fear that whoever it is might take advantage
of my helpless state. The dog looks at me as if he is reluctant
to leave, but then turns and runs towards the sound of his master’s
voice. I roll over, trying to get off the trail as quickly as
I can and conceal myself in the taller weeds at the edge.
-
- I reach the undergrowth just before a
man breaks cover onto the trail. I lie still and fearfully watch
him through the weeds and small bushes. He is carrying a gun
over his shoulder, and is dressed in a dirty looking jacket with
a cap on his head. I wonder what he is doing here, he is clearly
trespassing, and if he were hunting shouldn’t he be wearing
orange or some bright color clothing?
-
- He looks in the direction that I was riding
then turns and looks back towards me. I freeze and stop breathing.
I am certain he will spot me. I am lying on my right side and
wish I could flatten myself into the ground, but I dare not move
a muscle. I wish I could stop my heart which seems to be thumping
too loudly. From what I can see of him through the weeds he is
unshaven but is not as old as I first thought him to be. I begin
to panic, fearing that he must spot me. How can I explain my
condition? Running away does not seem to be an option, he looks
too athletic and I don’t think I could run fast with my
arms pinioned behind me.
-
- Fortunately he appears not to notice me.
He turns and begins to walk away down the trail away from me
and in the direction that Summer fled.
-
- I slowly relax and begin to breathe. I
check myself out as much as I am able. My head and right shoulder
hurt, as does my back where I landed on the handcuffs, but nothing
appears to be broken or sprained. Things are sticking into me
but I dare not move. After the man is out of sight I wait a few
minutes then struggle to my feet. I wonder if I should go after
Summer, but realize I have no way to catch him handcuffed as
I am, and I need to avoid the stranger.
-
- A thorn is sticking into my left thigh.
I bend down to try to reach in with my mouth, but cannot. I begin
to walk back to the barn in the direction from which I came.
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